


Fander Pride 2020

by justatealduck



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Late Night Conversations, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24507997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justatealduck/pseuds/justatealduck
Summary: For the Fander Pride 2020 on Tumblr. Their account, @fander-pride-meetup, can explain the stuff to do if anyone wants to participate.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Kudos: 14





	1. Valentine's Night

Virgil had already been a late night owl, contemplating things she's already been through, or just for the sake of the Internet.

But in these cold, long-winded winter nights where the windows howled because of the freezing gusts of air that flew by, it was impossible for him to close her eyes without thinking about something.

And besides, everyone was excited over Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day. You mean romantic rushing, the day? Everyone was pre-buying cheap chocolate, doing exercises, going on diets (which consisted of nothing but couscous and kale,) all because of this one day to ask out their crushes. Everyone her age was practically drowning in their excitement for the holiday about love. Her WhatsApp was overflowing with her friends sending pictures of their crushes, which, at first, she smiled at, happy for her friends finding love, but one thing made her grimace yet again.

All of them were different. Some were tall and lean, with gangly limbs and dark hair covering their faces. Others were shorter and sweeter, with flushed cheeks and curly blonde hair. A whole range of them, just waiting to be swooped up and taken like they were pastries at the girls' picking. But all of them had one thing in common.

Every single picture was of a boy, destined to be the temporary Mr Left to his Mrs Right. A man and a woman. Male and female. Father David always said that love would conquer all.

But Virgil didn't have one.

Despite her age, Virgil had never felt any attraction towards a boy. It seemed compulsory: when all seems lost, you'll meet the boy of your dreams who will sweep you off your feet and give you your first kiss and love you till your dying days. But Virgil found the majority of the boys here repulsive. 

Could she not understand love? Was she just stumped? Was she never going to find someone who would love her back, who would tell her everything's okay, who would notice her?

Was she-

A _notification_.

She picked up her phone again, the screen blinding her eyes and illuminating her face from the pitch black bedroom.

A new account joined one of the many group chats she was in. This one was dedicated to the old theatre group she was in before she moved.

_Huh. I thought everyone left?_

She clicked on the account.

Someone stared back, with gorgeous mature brown eyes that sparkled with happiness. 

Their face was still smooth, soft, perfectly symmetrical, almost too perfect to even exist on a real person. They had a cute button nose, and amazing red lips that were turned up in the cutest smile with dimples on both her cheeks. Dark blonde hair, once so pale it was almost white, that shone was half tucked into a dark teal beanie that complimented their autumn coloured hoodie. 

_Romana?_

The message read:  
_hey, whats happening on this group? lol_

Virgil felt their face turn bright red.

It all clicked. Her admiration and protective nature of girls. When she cried when Romana left her school when she was seven. When Logan and Patricia left when she was eight. Her lack of attraction to boys. When she rolled her eyes when she saw yet another girl and boy get together in a film. Even something as silly as her more boyish choices of clothing.

She had heard the term "lesbian," before, but have never went into detail with it.

Shit.


	2. Boys

"I'd think that Jan would look amazing with Pat-"

"Seriously?"

"What? Everyone's expecting it. And besides, I see the way you look at them-"

"Oh my God, no, you idiot! Besides, they're so into that nerd on their left."

The three girls lay dormant on the floor, with so much mess strewn around them it covered the wooden floorboards.

"Text Pat, or I'll do it! This isn't a two hour slow burn romance film that borders on the line of pedophilia, stalking and rape that came from a fanfiction!"

"How did you even come up with that?"

The trio laughed it off, practically in an out of body experience at this point.

"What about you, Virgil? You have to have someone you like."

Virgil's eyes turned to the other two gathered around her like they were watching a kitten walk for the first time.

"No, obviously! Majority of the boys here don't even like me, and honestly? Fuck them back."

Jan rolled over, hand on chin, "You have to have something! Come on, let it out, we won't judge, it's a safe zone here."

"You can even like Charlie Blight."

Virgil huffed, knowing it was time to let them in on something. They had been pestering her about love ever since they came over.

"I have someone, you don't know them, though."

The both of them lurched towards her, eyes widened with interest and immediately throwing the questions.

"What's his name?"

"What does he look like? Do you have a picture?"

"What does he do?"

"Has he told you his size yet?"

Virgil sighed, ready to let them in, "Not a boy."

The room fell silent for a few seconds that felt like painful years as Jan said, "Not a boy here?"

"Not a boy anywhere."

Virgil felt the tension rising.

_What if they think I'm a pervert? Would they be closer to me knowing that I like girls? What if they hate me because of it?_

"Virge, are you bi?"

Virgil took a deep breath.

"No." 

"Are you a lesbian?"

"...Yeah."

Virgil winced, ready for the glares, the disgusted looks, the rumors spread about her, the mental clicks that it all made sense to them that she was just a _dirty pervert-_

"HAVE YOU GOT HER NUMBER? WE ARE TEXTING HER RIGHT NOW. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL, YOU ARE GOING TO ASK HER OUT RIGHT NOW OR-"

"YOU ARE GOING TO BE HAPPY WITH HER OR WE'RE GOING TO DO IT OURSELVES. I HATE SLOWBURNS."

Virgil instead felt the hands of her friends shaking her violently as they screamed.

_Huh. They didn't really care afterall._

_They didn't care that I never liked boys._

She smiled.

"Yes, I have her number. I haven't seen her in ages, though…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am lucky enough to have amazing friends who accept and support the LGBTQ+ and to grow up in an open environment (if I were to write one with my parents, they only say "I don't care who you bring home, just make sure they're not dodgy," nor am I officially out to them.) It upsets me that several others didn't have those accepting areas, or possibly even can't come out of the closet (something that I think shouldn't even exist in the first place.) To all those still in the closet, I love you and you're appreciated.


	3. Just A Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one has descriptions of attempted forced kissing, dissmissive parents and tackling.

Though Virgil hadn't originally liked boys, there were several times that didn't help her lack of interest.

One time happened when she was ten.

Sitting in the playground as her parents packed up the tent, it was littered with kids of all ages, races and sizes playing games, using equipment and the usual latter. Though the trip hadn't been anything note-worthy, she had bonded with a certain group of teenagers, about fifteen to seventeen, who were fun to hang around with. They played bulldog, climbed up the slides, made sandballs for sandball wars (she had adopted the nickname 'sand fairy' due to her making rock-solid throwing spheres just out of playing sand,) and had fun until she had to be called back when it got dark, and the fire started.

That's when a gaggle of girls, one tall with dark brown hair, the other covered in freckles and hair of sand, came up to her and said, "Hey, do you like games?"

Virgil, happy that they could possibly play another round of bulldog replied, "Yeah, boardgames are nice."

"Well, we actually have some from the tent in the tunnel," said the freckled teenager, pointing at one playground piece that has a red plastic tunnel kids could crawl through. "Come inside, we're going to start."

The child followed them, stars in her eyes, and climbed up the slide that lead to the tunnel, and didn't see boardgames.

What she saw was five or six teenagers holding down a fifteen to sixteen year old boy who looked at her and said, "Run."

Virgil, noticing the two girls behind her about to pounce, started running down the steps until the blonde grabbed her around the neck. "Come on! It's just a kiss! I thought you'd want a boyfriend!"

Virgil bit her hard on the arm in retaliation.

As the other girl let go frantically, Virgil frantically ran out of the playground, swinging open the metal gates and carries herself barefoot as fast as she could to her tent.

As she practically flew past, she dodged teenagers, large and towering over trying to drag her back and scrambled out of grips. She heard the girl say, "Ow! She actually bit me! She actually bit me! That's fucking disgusting!" and teenagers surrounding her as they surveyed the damage.

Her parents were already loading the tent into the car, and started crying into her dad's chest.

"Hey, hey, hey! Virgil, what's wrong?"

"TheytriedtomakemekissaboyandIdidn'twanttoandtheytriedtograbmeand-"

"Woah, woah, deep breaths, slow down. I can't hear a word you're saying."

As the brown haired snivelling child sniffed away tears and snot, her father patting her on the head, she felt slightly angered about everything.

_We had had such fun for the week she was there, why did it change then? Was it a setup? I don't want to kiss him, that's gross. He's fifteen and I'm ten. Kissing him is gross. That's horrible. I don't want to kiss him. Why isn't dad taking this seriously?_

"I don't want to kiss boys, dad. And they, they tried to make me kiss him-"

She looked up at her father, expecting some sort of answer, some fatherly advice and protection, and maybe some comfort-

But instead, she saw her dad laughing.

"What do you mean, you don't want to kiss boys? I thought you wanted a boyfriend, with the whole Joan thing going on."

Her face dropped, confused as to why she was bringing her friend into this, and started to feel a fresh wave of tears starting to flow, "But dad-"

"Hey, mum wouldn't like that attitude in the car drive, would she? She's had to pack up everything in this hot weather, and you've been happily playing with your friends. And you're crying over a kiss! Every girl would love to have their first kiss, and you have the plus of being beautiful, so you could of had an amazing experience at your age. Just calm down, we're leaving."

Her dad just walked on, returning back to the car. Just in sight reach, she could see the teenagers and blonde girl glare with sharp blue eyes stare in her direction as she cradled her arm.

A look of disgust and hatred.

Virgil could feel their heart start to stop, and her eyes falling out of their sockets from trying to stop crying.

_She didn't want to kiss him. She really didn't. She didn't want to kiss boys._

As her and her siblings got into the packed car, they drove past the playground where they all stood, waving goodbye.

"Wave goodbye back, girls!" Her dad said.

Some looked with eyes of happiness that looked eerily plastic to the young girl in the middle seat.

She could still see the blonde girl staring at them as they drove off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can still remember it to this day, so apart from names, this did happen to me and it still worries me and I remember how scared I was. Whoever you are, just to let you know, you have every right to fight against people trying to force you whichever way to do 'romantic' acts. Kissing, tight hugging, holding hands, sexual acts etc. Fight against it like mad. And if people dismiss it as you being spoilt or overdramatic, don't bother with them. That's one of the reasons I don't like talking about things with my parents and I get self concious with what I wear. 
> 
> All girls shouldn't be expected to have a kiss as the ultimate achievement in life, and main goals being centered around romance and finding a Prince Charming. When a child says to you that they didn't want to kiss someone, it's not a joke, and it's certainly not romantic. And it's sad that my parents consider themselves very accepting and modern when they laughed this off, told me off and forgot about it, and call trans women fakes, predators to lesbians, and lesbians dating trans women just confused (I had a whole debate about it with them, but my mum said I was sexist lol because I said that J.K Rowling is pretty suspicious with the whole menstraution thing when she hasn't read the books or known about any of J.K Rowling's previous stuff, but because she's a woman and 54 years old that defeats any arguments.) But yeah, just a note.


End file.
